REAL LIFE

Man found GUILTY of rape says it wasn’t him because his privates aren’t big enough

He was horrified at the verdict after going public about his penis
Pat McGrath/The Ottawa Citizen

A Canadian man can’t believe he’s been found guilty of sexually assaulting two women after he confessed that his penis was ‘way, way too small’.



Jacques ‘Porkchop’ Rouschop, 44, faced court in Ottawa accused of raping and choking two women in 2013.



In his defence he claimed he could not be guilty of those crimes, because his beer gut, short arms, and hernia would make the actions physically impossible. Also, he says, his privates were not big enough.



A jury soon found him guilty of the charges, which left Rouschop shocked. In an interview given from prison he told the Ottawa Citizen: ‘I’m numb… I can’t believe this is happening after I went public with (the size of my penis).’

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