- At just 12 years old, Joy Doevendans from South Australia and Diane Hatt from Canada became pen pals after a newspaper friendship match in 1965
- The pair shared life’s biggest moments through letters, emails, phone calls and regular visits, while their mothers also formed a lasting pen pal friendship
- Now both 73, Joy and Diane call each other as family and proof that a handwritten letter can change a life forever
Here Joy Doevendans, 73, from Renmark, SA tells her story in her own words.
I hope to hear from you soon, I wrote, making sure my penmanship was neat. It was 1965, and aged 12, I was writing to my first pen pal.
Signing off From Joy, I was excited to see what my new friend would respond.
I’d connected with Diane, also 12, who lived in Clinton, Canada, after one of my school friends, Jenny, complained she had too many pen pals to respond to them all.
‘Take one,’ she said, handing me Diane’s details.
Jenny had told me there was a newspaper called the Vancouver Sun where people wrote in to ask for pen pals, and she’d been matched with Diane.
Every day I checked the mailbox after school, waiting for a reply.
Then, finally, four weeks later, a letter arrived. Opening the envelope, I read about Diane’s mother Ina, and father Habby. She was the eldest of her siblings, Michelle,
Ardelle, and brother David.
Does it snow in South Australia? she asked, curious that their summer was our winter.
We wrote back and forth sharing about our schooling, family life and friends. We swapped photos, shared music likes and local news.
I kept the letters in a box in my room.
Writing to Diane was a safe space where I could share my worries and then send them away.
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Then, in 1967, Diane mentioned her mother was very interested in learning about Australia.
Could she write to your mother? she asked.
My mum, Florence, then 46, was a prolific letter writer and was delighted to have a pen friend – like I did.
Sometimes Mum and I would sit side by side writing to Ina and Diane, nearly 12,000km away.
When, a couple of years later, I met a handsome Dutch man named Gienus, then 21, through my neighbour, I rushed to tell Diane about my first boyfriend. He plays football! I gushed, sending her a photo of us.
Diane was thrilled when we married two years later in 1971.
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She’d found love too, with Roger, then 22, and wed three years after me.
I sent Diane photos of my daughter, Nicole, who we welcomed in 1975.
We went on writing when we could, until 1980 when Diane, Roger, and Ina decided to visit us in South Australia.
Heart racing, I was riddled with nerves as they pulled into the driveway of our home in Paringa.
Will we get on in person? I worried.
But when I spotted her, my fears melted away.
‘I can’t believe you’re actually here,’ I said, pulling Diane in for a hug.
She felt like family.
Wasting no time, we showed Diane, Roger, and Ina around our hometown.
Roger and Gienus got on like a house on fire, and Mum and Ina stayed up talking into the late hours.
Diane and I bought matching small white stone earrings, so whenever we wore them, we’d feel close.
I was so sad when they had to leave.
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‘We’ll see each other again,’ we vowed.
We continued to keep in touch via mail.
I was delighted when Diane and Roger welcomed their children, Jeremy in 1983, and Rebecca in 1987.
And despite juggling kids, jobs and family life, we kept our promise. In 1998 Diane and Roger visited again, with the kids in tow.
For three months they travelled around to see Uluru and the beaches of Brisbane and Sydney – then they stayed with us.
Since then, we’ve taken turns flying to one another. I’ve made three trips to Canada. Diane and Roger have visited six times, next in 2006, twice in 2014, and again in 2025.
Each time we see one another, it’s like no time has passed.
Together we’ve seen New York, gone fishing in Bamfield on Vancouver Island, explored outback Australia and spotted roos at Kangaroo Island. On each trip we buy earrings, just like the first time.
Over time we moved to emails, and now we FaceTime once a month and message constantly. Though it’s not always easy with the time difference – one time Diane called me at 2am by accident.
I still have all the letters, filed in dozens of folders. I expect we’ve penned thousands by now. It’s amazing to think those two young girls formed such an enduring friendship.
Our mothers remained in touch until they passed –my mum Florence in 2012, aged 91, and Ina 12 years later, aged 93.
Through their loss, Diane, now 73, and I became closer still.
I feel so lucky to have had her in my life for over six decades.
She’s more than a pen pal, she’s a soul sister.
Diane says:
My friendship with Joy is one of the luckiest things to happen in my life. We can laugh and be silly without feeling self-conscious. When I need to vent or get some advice on something, I know that she will understand. Unfortunately, long flights are too difficult and challenging for Roger and me to make anymore, so our in-person visits will most likely not happen again. She is my best friend. Joy has lived up to her name – she has brought me endless joy!
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