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My cruel ex put me on a sex website

Erin's ex was determined to destroy her

When Aussie Erin* ended things, her ex was determined to destroy her. Here, she tells the story in her own words.

 

I smiled as Haidyn, 27, pulled me in
for a hug.

‘It’s good to see you,’ he said.

We’d dated for six months a year earlier.

At the time, my son Thomas* was just a baby and Haidyn seemed jealous
I couldn’t devote all my time to him, so I called things off.

Then, out of the blue,
he’d messaged.

As we chatted this time around, he seemed like a  different person and more  mature.

So when Thomas went to his dad’s, I agreed to meet Haidyn.

We’re not getting back together, I wrote, but we can definitely hang out.

I understand, he replied.

After meeting, we chatted every day. And whenever I didn’t have Thomas, we’d get together.

It was nice to have some company. And soon, it started to be more than just a friendship.

But two months down the line, Haidyn started acting strangely.

If I didn’t reply to a message straight away, he’d send another asking why I was ignoring him.

I’m busy with Thomas, I’d reply.

The final straw came when I went clubbing with a friend and Haidyn texted and rang me all night.

Feeling suffocated, I told him we couldn’t see each other anymore.

But he continued to text.

When I ignored him, he got abusive.

I’m going to ruin your life, you b—h, he wrote.

Over the weeks, they kept coming.

I’ve called child protection and told them you’re a bad mum. You’re going to lose Thomas, he wrote.

I felt sick to my stomach, hoping it was a lie.

Phone stock image
Haidyn wouldn’t leave me alone (Credit: Getty)

But later that day, a woman from CPS rang.

Luckily, she believed me.

Then a few days after that, my friend phoned.

‘Haidyn’s just messaged me, he’s threatening to come to your home,’ she panicked.

‘I think he’s just angry, it’s all good,’ I told her.

But as I sat playing with Thomas in the house I shared with Mum, Haidyn started banging on the window.

‘I hate you!’ he screamed.

Next, he ran over to my car and kicked in each door.

‘I’m going to ruin your life,’ he spat.

The police advised I get a restraining order (RO), so I applied the very next day.

But Haidyn started to send me abuse via bank transactions instead.

Transferring one cent at
a time, he wrote nasty messages
in the descriptions.

In total, he sent 187.

It was a relief when the RO went through.

But just 10 minutes after his court appearance, he texted me saying he needed to give me some court documents as he was trying to appeal the RO.

I just ignored it.

Later, I had a phone call with heavy breathing.

Then another, with Haidyn saying my name, before hanging up.

It got worse when I had a text message from an escort company requesting I verify my account.

I phoned them and they closed it down. But a few days later, I received a text.

Hi, what are your services?

What the…? I thought.

More continued to come through, asking what my rates were and if I was free that night.

Stock image of sex site
I was disgusted by what he’d done (Credit: Getty)

Another man texted me, I think someone has made an account using your details, along with a link.

He’d said that the language used gave him the impression it was fake.

Opening it up, I felt sick as I looked at the profile on the screen.

It included pictures of me from my Facebook page and all of my contact
details, including ‘sexual services’ that I apparently offered.

It was a sex site. 

As the messages and calls kept coming, I turned off my phone and contacted the website, requesting them to close it down.

Crying, I told Mum and she was with me when I reported it to police.

They tracked it back to Haidyn, who had used his own email address to create the profile.

By now, 80 different men had contacted me.

I was disgusted and felt like my whole reputation had been destroyed.

Haidyn was arrested and  charged with stalking, trespass, injury to property and breaches to an interim restraint order.

He initially pleaded not guilty, but later changed his plea to guilty.

On August 1 this year, Haidyn Brett Anning, 28, appeared at Hobart Magistrates Court.

The court heard he’d breached the restraining order 27 times.

Magistrate Glenn Hay sentenced him to eight months in jail, with five
of those suspended for 30 months.

‘Your behaviour was clearly out of an obsession that you held and a misguided revenge where you clearly intended to cause mental harm,’ he said.

The magistrate also banned Haidyn from contacting me indefinitely.

Although he’s currently in jail, I dread the day he’s released.

What Haidyn did to me was humiliating.

Even now, when I walk around town, I worry that my face is still out there and people have seen the ad.

It’s devastating.

Haidyn’s jealous behaviour when we first got together was a red flag, and I wish
I’d paid more attention to it.

I want other women to listen to my story and go with their gut if something doesn’t feel right in a relationship.

Whether it’s physical or verbal, an abusive relationship is never okay.

No-one deserves to be treated this way. ●

* Names have been changed to protect the identity of the victim

If you are experiencing abuse and need help, call 1800 737 732 (Aus) or
0800 456 450 (NZ).

You can also visit 1800 Respect

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