- Dan Blevins, 49, came out in 2019 when he wed Donnie
- After his wedding, Dan wanted to help queer people across the world who didn’t have love and support
- In 2021, he posted a TikTok offering to be a ‘stand-in dad’ for the LGBTQ+ community
- Now his non-profit Stand In Pride helps LGBTQ+ people in more than 70 countries connect and support one another at weddings and other milestone events
Here, Dan tells his own story in his own words.
‘You look amazing,’ I beamed, taking in the glowing bride before me.
Her sharp suit pressed, we were just seconds away from walking down the aisle together.
I’d met Kesha, 20, just minutes earlier and now I was about to give her away to be married to her beautiful bride.
It was August 2022 and we’d connected a month before on the Facebook page ‘Stand In Pride’– a service that I’d founded for the LGBTQ+ community to connect with allies and supporters who’ll ‘stand in’ for absent family members at milestone life events.
In Kesha’s messages to me, she explained how her father had passed away a few years earlier, and her mother had decided not to attend her wedding.
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It broke my heart.
It would mean so much if you’d be by my side, she’d written.
I’d love to be your ‘stand-in dad’. It’d be an honour, I’d replied.
Now, as we danced arm in arm down the aisle, joy radiated among the brides and their beaming guests.
How could anyone want to miss this?! I thought.
A gay man myself, I knew the courage it took to live life authentically.
I came out in 2019 when I married my long-time ‘roommate’ of 26 years, Donnie.
We eloped and announced our love to the world in April when we posted our wedding photos on Facebook.
‘I felt free being my authentic self at last’
I was so anxious about how people in our small conservative town would react to the news.
While a couple of my hairdressing clients changed salons, they were quickly replaced.
And my family were incredibly supportive.
I felt free being my authentic self at last.
After our announcement, I couldn’t stop thinking of the many queer people across the world who didn’t have love and support.
What if I created a match-matching service for stand-in parents? I wondered.
Then in January 2021, without thinking much of it, I filmed a TikTok reel.
‘If you are a same-sex couple that’s getting married and you do not have biological parents there to support you, please let me know,’ I said.
‘If I’m not able to attend your wedding, I have friends that will… let’s help spread this message that there’s parents that want to be there for you on your big wedding day, and we’ll be your biggest fans and supporters.’
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Within hours I was inundated with messages.
I just want parents, read one reply. My birth parents turned on me because I’m trans.
A father to two beautiful kids, Sara, then 23, and Matt, 25, I was horrified to read just how many families had turned their back on their kids.
In 2018 I’d walked Sara down the aisle to get married.
How could anyone do this to their child? I wondered.
As weeks went by more messages kept flooding in, among them comments from people wanting to volunteer too.
I absolutely love this! one commenter shared. I would love to be a stand-in mum, sister, friend, aunt… whatever!
To connect everyone, I created a Facebook page and directed people to join there and share and talk.
That was five years ago and, since my first stint as a ‘rent-a-dad’ in 2022, I’ve attended four more weddings – each one as special as the last – with Donnie by my side.
‘It’s the honour of my life to be a support to the LGBTQ+ community’
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‘What you’re doing is amazing,’ my wonderful husband tells me often.
Registered as a non-profit since 2024, we’ve got an app with over 150,000 users and a Facebook page, called ‘Stand In Pride International’, which has over 60,000 followers from more than 70 countries.
It’s the honour of my life to be a support to the LGBTQ+ community.
Our Stand In Pride community show up not only to weddings, but also to graduations, births of babies, and have even opened their homes on Christmas.
I remember a young trans man that had a job interview and needed help tying a tie. He was able to find a dad who taught him on Zoom.
It warms my heart hearing the happy stories of allyship and support.
But each time we get a new post from someone in need, it hurts my soul as it means there is a LGBTQ+ person out there who is hurting and unable to lean on their bio family.
Juggling work as a hairdresser with the non-profit work, I spend time with Matt, 30, and Sara, 28, my six grandkids, and Donnie to unwind.
‘It warms my heart hearing the happy stories of allyship and support’
In the future I hope to throw more in-person events for those worried about connecting with strangers online. I love the idea of calling it a ‘family reunion’ – we’re just chosen families.
I want people around the world to know you’re not alone. You just need to find your tribe.
And I can promise you, almost anywhere you are in the world, people are waiting for you.
Visit standinpride.org or Instagram @standinpride
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