- After her 22-year marriage ended, Gayle found herself navigating the dating world for the first time since she was a teenager
- From dating apps and speed dating to approaching strangers in airports and bars, she embraced new experiences and learned to put herself out there
- Now sharing her journey online, Gayle hopes to inspire others to believe it’s never too late to find love, friendship and connection
Here Gayle Smith*, 47, from Brisbane, Qld shares her story in her own words
Touching up my lippy, I grabbed my purse and made my way towards the handsome stranger at the bar.
Heart racing in my chest, I pushed my nerves aside.
Rejection won’t kill you, I reminded myself as I struck up a conversation and locked in a date.
I hadn’t always been so forward when it came to looking for love.
In September 2024, my marriage of 22 years ended, and I was single for the first time since I was 17.
My ex-husband and I met in university, married in 2002 and were inseparable – until it ended. Now in my 40s, I’d never gone on a proper date.
Spending lots of time with my friends, I wanted to figure out what I wanted before I dipped my toes into dating.
It was during an annual friends’ getaway in November 2024 that my mates signed me up to a dating app.
Finessing my profile with photos and information about me, they connected my phone to the TV and set to work playing cupid as we sifted through potential matches.
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Everyone got to vote on who had a chance. ‘He’s handsome,’ one girlfriend cried, urging me to swipe right, meaning I’d ‘matched’ with the guy in his mid-40s who had a cheeky smile.
We giggled like schoolgirls, but I soon noticed a pattern. ‘Why is everyone holding a fish?’ I laughed.
It seemed most men on the app thought the best way to lure a date was to flaunt their hunting skills!
We turned it into a drinking game. Every time a man had a fish in a photo, everyone had to drink. By the end of the night, we were all tipsy!
I ended up getting a couple of matches, but it wasn’t until I was back home weeks later that I checked the app again.
After starting a few conversations, in February 2025, aged 45, I went for my first-ever date. Heart racing, my palms sweated as we met for a casual walk along Kedron
Brook, but I was soon put at ease by his warm nature.
‘You’re amazing, Gayle,’ he told me.
We had a lot in common too, as we both loved the outdoors and being active.
I totally had a crush!
We dated for a couple of months, but in the end things fizzled out – the timing just wasn’t right.
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Back on the apps, I realised I was swiping when I was bored, not intentionally, so I deleted them all and made myself a promise.
You’re going to chat to strangers in person, I vowed.
My first opportunity came in June this year at the airport. I was flying to Japan, and a fellow passenger caught my eye at the boarding gate.
Now or never! I told myself.
‘Travelling for work or pleasure?’ I asked, smiling.
Chatting as the line moved forward, I learned the handsome stranger was on a work trip, single and, as luck would have it, sitting behind me on the flight.
We exchanged numbers and, after landing, we shared a cab to our respective hotels.
‘I’d love to take you to dinner tomorrow,’ he offered.
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Of course, I said yes!
A holiday romance, I thought, giddy.
He arranged a lovely dinner, we chatted over drinks and, when we kissed, I felt fireworks.
But sadly, he lived interstate, and long distance wasn’t going to work. So, while he wasn’t ‘The One’, the date was amazing – and gave me hope there were good guys out there after all.
Don’t get me wrong – I’ve had some dating disasters too, lots of people flake before even meeting, and one man asked if I’d be open to dating him… and seeing his brother! Yikes!
Back home in Brisbane, I started an Instagram account @dating gayle – sure I wasn’t the only one trying to find a potential suitor.
I knew other women would find the content funny and relatable, so I posted photos of my outfits, plus a post-date summary, and people became increasingly invested in my quest for love. Now, I have almost 7500 followers.
I realised there are so many people in their 40s, 50s and beyond who are starting again and wondering if they’re too old or it’s too late.
I feel like I’ll never find someone, but your journey gives me hope, one online friend shared.
To date, I’ve tried singles events, hiking groups, bars, dinners, walks, themed events, speed dating, and even donated plasma in hopes of finding my ultimate match. I’ve had maybe 20 dates since starting, and met some genuinely amazing people.
Through it all, my mates have been my sounding boards, shoulders to cry on, and wing-people.
‘You’re a catch,’ they assure me.
I still get nervous, but have realised most people put themselves out there because they want connection.
I’ve used the apps on and off, but would much rather meet someone, have a conversation, and see their personality in person. Chatting over the apps can feel like a job interview!
I’ve learned chemistry is impossible to predict. Someone can look perfect on paper and there’s no spark, and someone else can totally surprise you.
Right now, I’m still looking for love – I want someone who is kind, funny, honest, active and enjoys life and travel.
I’m happy on my own, but would love to meet someone who adds to my life. And I won’t settle!
If I could give people in my position some advice, I’d say ‘just start!’ – say yes to new things. But don’t make every outing about finding a partner. I’ve also found some incredible friendships along the way.
I’m not giving up on finding my ‘Mr Right’, and I know romance is always around the corner.
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