- Max Jahufer Rodgers was 36 years old when he began transitioning
- A few years later, his wife Paris fell pregnant with their first child via sperm donor
- Now Max is the person and father he always wanted to be
Here Max Jahufer Rodgers tells his story in his own words.
My heart sank as my mum, Ana, whipped out the swimming costume she wanted me to wear.
‘I want to wear shorts like the boys at the beach,’ I moaned.
I was only six, but already knew that I identified more with boys than girls.
‘Whatever makes you happy.’
Mum would try to dress me in the girliest outfits, but eventually she gave in, letting me wear shorts and T-shirts.
‘Whatever makes you happy,’ Mum smiled.
‘You look great whatever you wear,’ my dad, Zulfi, agreed.
By the time I hit 15, I no longer used my birth name, Marianna, choosing instead to be known as Max.
In my late teens I tried dressing more feminine to fit in, but by the time I went to uni, in Melbourne, Vic, where I lived, I was back to being more masculine.
I identified as a female lesbian, but it always felt like something was missing.
In my early 20s, I came across a documentary on YouTube, which followed four people as they transitioned from being a woman to a man.
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Wow! I had no idea this was a thing, I thought.
I didn’t do anything about it, but the idea was always at the back of my mind.
When I was 32, I was at a New Year’s Eve party when I met Paris, then 27.
I was living in Sydney at the time, while Paris was in Melbourne, but we kept in touch after the party, both aware of a mutual attraction.
A year later, I moved back to Melbourne and we got together, falling madly in love.
‘You need to speak to someone about transitioning.’
I opened up to Paris, explaining that I didn’t identify as a woman.
‘You need to speak to someone about transitioning,’ she said.
I put it off, but Paris kept bringing it up, realising how unhappy I was.
‘Life is short. Let’s change this,’ she encouraged.
In February 2020, I went to my GP and got the ball rolling.
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I had six sessions of psychological assessments and, at the end, they determined I had gender dysphoria, which is when someone feels discomfort when their gender identity is different to their sex identity.
It meant I could go ahead with the transition.
I felt so excited.
Over the next few months I was thoroughly informed about everything that would happen to my body when I started to take testosterone tablets.
‘Your voice will deepen and your body shape will change, but it will be a gradual process,’ the doctor explained.
‘We support your decision.’
Deciding to go ahead, I wrote a letter to Mum and Dad, outlining my plans.
Dad phoned me within half an hour, asking me to come over. Both scientists, my parents were initially concerned about the medical implications of transitioning.
‘We support your decision. We just want you to be happy,’ they said, when they were reassured.
It was a huge relief.
In October 2020, I started taking testosterone. Over the next months, I started developing facial hair and gaining more muscle.
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My voice also started to deepen. It was an adjustment but felt so right.
I changed my pronouns to he/him and relished my new identity as a bloke.
Before my transition, Paris and I had discussed kids. I’d always wanted to be a parent.
We’d decided to use a sperm donor and that Paris, then 29, would carry the baby.
Finding a company called Rainbow Fertility, they gave us access to sperm donors in the US.
We used an app to go through potential donors, where we could read about their jobs, medical history and even see what they looked like as babies.
Coming across a donor who looked just like me, we read his bio. I want to help other people have kids, he’d written.
‘Let’s go for him,’ Paris said and I agreed.
Three months later, our sperm arrived in Australia.
State rules meant we had to travel to Queensland to use it.
In July 2021, sperm was transferred to Paris via IUI, but sadly, it didn’t work.
So six weeks later, we started the IVF process and they extracted 19 eggs from Paris. Incredibly, we got nine embryos.
In November 2021, the first embryo was transferred to Paris.
The clinic was to do a blood test to determine if it’d been successful, but we couldn’t resist taking a test ourselves before.
‘It’s positive!’ Paris cried.
‘No way,’ I beamed.
When Paris was three months pregnant, we told our friends and family, who were all ecstatic.
And as Paris’ belly grew, so did our excitement.
On July 14, 2022, Paris gave birth to our beautiful son, Windsor.
‘He’s perfect,’ she beamed, cradling our newborn.
‘You’re amazing,’ I told Paris, proud of what her body had done.
Windsor, now three, is the light of our lives. He’s such a character with a big personality who loves chatting to anyone.
In November 2024, we got married and little Windsor was our page boy. He looked adorable!
In the future, we hope to use some of the other embryos to grow our family.
I still take testosterone and in the future I hope to have top surgery, which involves removing my breasts and reshaping the chest to a more masculine look.
Paris, now 34, is the best mum and my biggest supporter. I am so proud of our rainbow family.
It’s been a long road, but I’m so happy to finally be the person I always knew that I was.
