- Jay and Pamela have osteogenesis imperfecta (OI)
- Meeting on Instagram, their friendship blossomed into a romance
- They got married in November 2024, which featured in their reality TV show ‘Jay & Pamela’
Here Pamela shares her story in her own words.
Spinning around in the ivory gown in my wheelchair, I was overcome with emotion.
‘I really love it,’ I smiled tearfully.
Growing up, I hadn’t seen many people who looked like me getting married.
Born with osteogenesis imperfecta (OI), it meant my bones were extremely brittle.
The condition, which impacts collagen production, can also result in short stature and skeletal deformities.
‘Doctors warned I wouldn’t live past three.’
When I was born, doctors warned my parents I wouldn’t live past the age of three. But I was a fighter, determined to prove them wrong.
It wasn’t always easy though. Over the years I’d broken bones 200 times – ending up in hospital for days or weeks at a time.
Sometimes I’d sneeze and get a broken rib!
I was teased relentlessly growing up for how I looked, but friends would protect me.
I excelled at my mainstream school, going on to uni where I earned a degree in sociology.
My condition didn’t stop me from dating, although I wondered if I’d ever find true love.
Then in March 2019, when I was 25, I met Jay, then 22, through Instagram.
At the time, he was hosting a weekly music show where he reviewed songs from up-and-coming artists.
I commented on a video of his show, and Jay sent me a message – and his phone number!
Wow, he’s confident! I thought.
When I called him, we clicked straight away and ended up talking for two hours.
Like me, he was short statured – also a result of OI. Living in chronic pain, we also both used motorised wheelchairs.
But we had so much more in common than our health issues. We loved discussing meaningful issues – and making each other laugh!
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At the time, we lived hundreds of kilometres away from each other.
But our friendship quickly grew into something much deeper and, in May that year, Jay asked me to be his girlfriend.
‘I’d like that,’ I said.
That October, Jay flew interstate to meet me for the first time.
I was so nervous waiting at the airport. What if we didn’t have the same connection face to face?
‘I thought he was handsome.’
But the second I saw him, all my worries disappeared.
He’s so handsome, I thought.
Jay’s energy instantly put me at ease. He stayed at my apartment and everything felt natural, comfortable and right.
When the pandemic hit in 2020, travelling interstate became much more difficult.
By then, we were madly in love and already knew we wanted to build a life together.
Thankfully, we were able to stay in touch via video calls every day.
Jay’s parents, Raphael and Rene, who Jay lived with, welcomed me with open arms.
‘You can come and live with us,’ they said when the borders reopened.
They even drove 900km to bring me back home with them.
From that moment on, I became part of their family.
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In November 2022, over a romantic dinner, Jay gave me a beautiful purple amethyst ring – my birthstone – and proposed.
Of course, I said yes!
In 2023, our lives changed again when a TV production company asked to film our story.
‘Let’s agree and figure it out later!’ Jay said, always spontaneous.
Being more cautious, I wanted details first. After all, I knew it would get very personal!
After countless Zoom calls and interviews, cameras arrived and suddenly we were filming a reality show – Jay & Pamela.
Filming days could last eight to 12 hours, but the crew quickly felt like family.
They were even there to capture our big day in November 2024.
My younger brother, Juan Pablo, then 24, proudly walked me down the aisle.
‘His sweet vows made me cry.’
Jay cried when he saw me sitting in my wheelchair in my wedding dress. ‘You look beautiful,’ he said.
In turn, his sweet vows made me cry.
‘I am forever grateful for you being placed in my life and I will never take that for granted. I will love you in this lifetime and every lifetime after this,’ he said.
Then it was my turn. ‘I wish there were enough words and letters in the alphabet to express how grateful I am for you. There is nothing missing in my life as long as you are with me,’ I told him, tearfully.
After we married, we moved into our own apartment with our little rescue dog, Cheddar – and our TV series went global!
Suddenly people recognised us everywhere we went.
On the show, we talk about everything that strangers ask us, including intimacy. Just because we’re disabled doesn’t mean we don’t have a full, loving relationship.
‘We’re proof that disability doesn’t stop you building a life.’
We’re proof that disability doesn’t stop you falling in love, building a life, or chasing your future.
Now we’re preparing for our biggest chapter yet. Season two of the show follows Jay, who is trans, and I as we have emotional talks about starting a family, including doctor visits to discuss whether I can carry a baby, and difficult decisions about what comes next.
Because of our health challenges, we’ve always known time is precious. It’s made us appreciate each other even more.
Sometimes we wish we’d met sooner, so we could have had more time together, but mostly, we’re just grateful we met at all.
Because when you find your person and fall in love, nothing else really matters.
