Weird and Wonderful

Shock surgery: I paid to look like an elf!

She says it was 'worth every cent'.
Phoebe Hofsteede Photography

Suzi’s obsession with elves had reached a tipping point…

Here, Suzi, 37, tells the story in her own words.

Hearing the buzz of the needle, I braced myself. ‘Deep breath, this may sting a little,’ the tattooist warned. ‘No kidding,’ I winced, inhaling sharply as the needle met my skin.

A recent high school graduate, I was getting my first ever tattoo – a delicate flower on my right ankle. I’d wanted one for as long as I could remember and was delighted to be old enough to have one. ‘Wow, I absolutely love it,’ I exclaimed.

Before long, I wanted another… and another and another. Eventually, I had 11 different tatts, like wallpaper over my body. Then, around 18 months ago, my body modification obsession reached new levels. Lounging on the sofa, I was scrolling the internet. ‘Come look at this,’ I said to my fiancé Ivan, 24. ‘What is it?’ he asked. ‘It’s a video I found of a lady who got silicone elf ear implants. I want to do it, too,’ I told him. Knowing how much I love elves, Ivan was totally on board. 

I love my perfectly pointy ears
I love my perfectly pointy ears
ears 2

The mythical creatures had fascinated me for years. Instead of donning an elf costume with prosthetic ears for every fancy dress party, now my ears could have permanent pointed tips.

Over the next few days, I read everything I could about the procedure. Tracking down someone who could fit the implants a six-hour drive away, I knew I could now finally achieve my dream look. When my appointment day arrived, I could scarcely contain my excitement. ‘That’ll be $900,’ the body modification artist told me. ‘Worth every cent,’ I grinned.

Led into the studio – similar to a tattoo parlour – the scent of antiseptic filled my nostrils. ‘We’re going to numb your ears first,’ he explained. People never believe me when I say this, but that injection was honestly the most painful part. Everything else – the slicing open of my cartilage, the insertion of the silicone implant, the stretching of my flesh back over the wound – I barely felt.

Bruised and swollen afterwards, recovery took around three months, not helped by the fact that, everywhere I went, people wanted to touch my ears! Once they were fully healed, I could finally get a proper look at them. But while they were mildly elf-like, they weren’t elf-like enough!

My husband thinks my ears are exquisite
My husband thinks my ears are exquisite (Credit: Phoebe Hofsteede Photography)

‘I want a second set, with a more dramatic point,’ I told Ivan. So I made the six-hour trip back for round two. And this time, the results were amazing. ‘I feel like I’m in The Lord Of The Rings,’ I gushed. What made it even more special was that I had my perfectly pointed ears in time for my wedding day.

Ivan and I tied the knot last August in a chapel that’s been converted into a theatre.My ears have healed perfectly and, thankfully, there’s been no rejection. Ivan absolutely loves them – as do most of my friends, although some think I’m bonkers! The implants are reversible, but I can’t see myself taking them out. In fact, I want to go even bigger. I always jokingly called myself an elf fairy princess – and now I finally have the ears to match. 

wedding day
Our magical wedding day (Credit: Phoebe Hofsteede Photography)

Read more in this week’s issue of that’s life!

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