- When Sian Goodsell’s hubby Jason was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer, he made the decision to freeze his sperm.
- Heartbreakingly, Jason passed away the night before their wedding day.
- In July 2022 Sian felt ready to start a family using the frozen sperm and fell pregnant on her first round of IVF.
Here Sian tells her story in her own words.
As the sun began to set over the sparkling blue water at Bunbury Beach, WA, my boyfriend, Jason, then 30, got down on one knee. ‘Will you marry me?’ he asked.
‘Yes!’ I screamed.
It was February 2017, and we’d spent the last seven months doing a lap of Australia in our camper trailer.
Our days had been filled with fishing and snorkelling. And we talked about starting a family.
‘I’d love two or three kids,’ Jason had said.
But the following week our world was turned upside down after Jason underwent a colonoscopy.
He’d been having issues with the urgency and frequency of his bowel movements for a while.
And he’d noticed blood in his stool, which we’d put down to drinking more and eating less nutritious meals while on the road.
When things didn’t improve, Jason went to see a local GP.
He referred Jason to a gastroenterologist, who performed a colonoscopy to rule out anything sinister.
While we waited for the biopsy results, we headed back to Sydney.
But nothing could have prepared us for the news.
‘I’m afraid you have stage 4 bowel cancer,’ the doctor said, explaining that it had already spread to Jason’s liver.
Just six days earlier we were celebrating being newly engaged.
Now I was scared our future could be stripped away.
‘I’m going to get through this,’ Jason assured me.
Ahead of radiation treatment to shrink the tumour, Jason had his sperm frozen as his chances of conceiving naturally after treatment were unlikely.
After 10 gruelling rounds of radiation and months of chemo, Jason had part of his bowel and the tumours from his liver removed.
‘I’m afraid you have stage 4 bowel cancer.’
By Christmas he was declared in remission.
But by February 2018, a scan revealed the cancer was back.
This time it was more aggressive and had spread to his lymph nodes.
Beginning radiation and chemo again, Jason spent his treatment days planning our wedding – everything from where we would say ‘I do’ to the dinner menu.
As the weeks turned to months, he grew sicker.
In March 2019, Jason decided to stop treatment because it wasn’t working.
‘Enjoy what you can while you still can,’ the doctor said.
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Despite his prognosis, Jason was adamant that we go through with the wedding.
And if I wanted kids after he was gone, he supported that too.
When the weekend of our big day arrived in
May 2019, Jason was exhausted.
He did his best to push through the rehearsal dinner, but I could see how much he was suffering.
So when our celebrant suggested we get legally married that night to take the pressure off the ceremony, we jumped at the chance.
‘I’ll see you at the altar.’
Sitting in the back seat of our car with our best man, Jono, and my sister and maid of honour, Kaisha, as witnesses, we officially became man and wife.
We were elated to finally be married.
Before going our separate ways for the night, I looked into Jason’s gorgeous blue eyes.
‘I’ll see you at the altar,’ I smiled.
‘I’ll be waiting,’ he said, kissing me goodbye.
A few hours later though, I got a call from Jason’s younger brother, Shaun.
Jason was slipping away.
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The 30-minute drive from our place to the pub where he was staying was agony.
Devastatingly, by the time we arrived, paramedics were working on Jason, and moments later he was gone.
It was as if he’d held on just long enough to see us married.
I was heartbroken but relieved he was finally free of pain.
Not wanting to disappoint our loved ones who’d travelled to be with us, we turned our would-be wedding into a celebration of life for Jason instead. It was comforting to be together on one of the hardest days of our lives.
After laying my dear husband to rest 10 days later, I relocated to Cranebrook, NSW, to be closer to family. I started a new job as a nurse, and thought of Jason every day.
Three years later, in July 2022, I finally felt ready to start a family, just as we’d always dreamed of.
‘Welcome to the world little one.’
Undergoing IVF, using my eggs and Jason’s sperm, I was pleased to have one perfect embryo.
And I was overjoyed when I fell pregnant after the transfer in August.
Both our families were so supportive.
At 10 weeks, a blood test confirmed I was expecting a little girl.
Jason had sent me a bub from heaven.
That December, I went into labour at just 23 weeks and four days.
Our daughter, who I named Matilda Jayce, after her daddy, was born weighing a tiny 560g.
‘Welcome to the world little one,’ I beamed, as doctors whisked her off to NICU where she was given oxygen and placed in a humidicrib.
READ MORE: ‘I was born without a womb… so my sister had my baby’
Three weeks later, my tiny girl underwent a six-hour op to remove 15cm of perforated bowel – a common condition in premmie bubs.
Thankfully, the surgery was a success.
I knew Jason was watching over her.
Matilda continued to thrive and, after 142 days in hospital she was finally discharged, weighing a much healthier two kilos.
Now two, Matilda – who we call Tilly – shares so many of her dad’s features, right down to the dimple on her chin.
A happy and stubborn little girl, Tilly loves dancing around the house to Jason’s favourite country songs.
‘Daddy’s in the sky,’ I remind her when the stars come out at night.
And Tilly will blow kisses up to the heavens.
Though I wish he were here to see his girl grow up, I’m so lucky to have a piece of Jason on earth.
