that’s life! readers come to the rescue and offer advice on this week’s dilemma
Dear that’s life!
My teenage daughter wants to get her belly button pierced. I’ve said no but she says all her friends are allowed and now she’s been shutting herself in her room.
She’s 15 and wants to get it for her 16th birthday and says it’s no different to getting her ears pierced which was done when she was seven. She wants to get two more ear piercings too.
And she’s already planning her first tattoo for when she’s 18! I worry she’ll make these decisions and regret it later. Her dad had some tattoos removed a few years ago and it was an unpleasant and painful process.
What do I do?
Comments were divided over whether the mum should let the teen get the piercing, but many were in support.
One said: ‘I had my belly button pierced when I was 15. My dad took me. I stopped wearing it by the time I was 21. I had so many friends who did it at home and some got nasty infections. I say, let her get it. If not she could end up doing it behind your back.’
Another said her teenaged daughter had piercings. ‘My 16-year-old gas multiple piercings. She looks beautiful and takes care of them. Holes heal up, so it’s nothing like tattoos, but I think tattoos are fine when well thought through and done by a professional.’
One even suggested she pay for the piercing. ‘A belly button piercing is not something you regret. Maybe surprise her by giving it to her for her birthday.’
Ultimately, it’s not your body
Others said they thought it could be bad for the mother-daughter relationship if the mum refused. ‘I think you should let her get it or it will make her feel inadequate with all her other friends, which isn’t fair on her. And she’ll resent you too,’ said one.
‘Ultimately, it’s nor your body,’ advised another. ‘It’s hers and she’ll do what she wants with or without your permission. If you support her now, then you have the chance to at least guide her regarding a meaningful tattoo.’
But others said they wouldn’t let their teen go ahead. ‘What kids needs are parents to tell them they can’t have everything they want. Sounds like the kids are in charge,’ said one.
‘Stand firm while she’s under 18. When she’s an adult, they are her mistakes and she has the right to make those decisions,’ suggested another.
Other ideas suggested getting her to ‘write a prons and cons’ list to think it through for herself.
And one person suggested a compromise, ‘Compromise and maybe let her get her ears redone now and if she still wants her belly button pierced, go ahead in a year or two.’