- Dean and Joshua knew if they wanted to start a family they’d need to turn to surrogacy
- They were overjoyed when Josh’s mother Louise volunteered to carry their baby
- Now they are proud parents to a little girl and want to raise awareness about surrogacy in Australia
Here Joshua, 29, Melbourne, Vic tells his own story in his own words.
Rubbing sleep from my eyes, I rolled over in bed.
‘I’ll get her,’ I mumbled sleepily to my husband, Dean, 37.
With our daughter Riley’s cry ringing out through the baby monitor, we’d had plenty of sleepless nights since her arrival in April this year.
Looking down at her sweet face as I pulled her into my arms for a cuddle, I smiled.
I’d happily never sleep again to experience the joy of becoming a dad, I thought.
Our journey to parenthood was three years in the making.
Dean and I met close to a decade ago and began dating soon after. We both always knew we wanted to have kids so started looking into surrogacy around four years into our relationship, before tying the knot in February 2022.
After hearing of our plight, one of Dean’s friends, Emily, kindly offered to donate her eggs after welcoming a child herself. But finding a surrogate to carry our baby proved more difficult.
Then, over lunch one day in February 2023, Dean and I updated my mum Louise, then 49, and her husband Todd, 52, about our struggles.
‘If I was younger, I’d do it in a heartbeat,’ Mum said.
Dean and I exchanged a look. ‘Most IVF clinics have a cut-off age of 52,’ Dean replied.
And Mum hadn’t begun menopause yet.
‘Well then sign me up,’ she replied without hesitation.
Shocked, Dean and I were overwhelmed by her offer.
Mum was an incredible mother to me and my siblings, Eddie, then 26, Xavier, 23, and Lanie, 20 – but we knew this was a huge ask.
Please let me help make your dreams come true
‘Think about it, please,’ I told her.
The next day she rang us, with a supportive Todd by her side, adamant she wanted to move ahead.
‘You boys will make amazing parents. Please let me help you make your dreams come true,’ she pleaded.
Being a midwife, Mum knew what surrogacy entailed. And Todd worked at the hospital in mental health, so Mum would have amazing support. But Dean and I still couldn’t believe she’d offer this.
Todd, the wonderful human being he is, agreed with Mum’s decision.
‘Thank you, Mum,’ I said, choked with emotion.
We’re going to have a baby! I thought, ecstatic.
While Mum had tests to ensure she was healthy enough to proceed with IVF, Dean and I had our sperm tested for quality, as both of us wanted to create embryos. And we underwent mandatory counselling.
We had meetings with our lawyers to draw up contracts for the family.
Thankfully, Mum was given the all clear, and then Emily began daily injections to stimulate her eggs ready to be collected.
We were extremely lucky to get 24 eggs during the first round. Incredibly, 21 of those were viable and we had 11 embryos frozen.
Eleven chances at a little baby! I beamed.
Three months later, in August 2024, we all went to the clinic for the first embryo transfer. As I held Mum’s hand in mine, we all prayed it would take.
‘I don’t want to let you boys down,’ Mum said.
‘You never could,’ Dean and I replied.
We were all in tears when, 10 days later, it was confirmed Mum was pregnant. We were huddled together while the IVF clinic broke the news to us over the phone. Our dream was finally coming true.
As weeks went on, Dean and I travelled three hours from our home in Melbourne to Warrnambool to be by Mum’s side for every scan and check-up.
Seeing our baby for the first time, hearing their heartbeat, and feeling the kicks as Mum’s pregnancy progressed, were moments I’ll never forget.
Family and our close friends rallied around us, amazed at Mum’s selfless act. In March, when they surprised her with a baby shower, she was touched.
Then in April this year, with Mum’s due date approaching, we drove to her and Todd’s place to drop off our pram, baby clothes and nappies.
We planned to stay for a month after the bub arrived for Mum to spend time with our little one.
But we ended up making a detour from the house to Warrnambool Base Hospital, when Mum went into labour at 36 weeks and five days.
Racing to the ward, we met Mum and Todd before Mum was taken to theatre for an emergency caesarean with Todd by her side. As the room was small, Dean and I stood by the door as our baby was brought into the world.
‘It’s a girl,’ the midwife said, wrapping her and bringing her to us.
‘Thank you for making our dreams come true,’ Dean told Mum, tearfully.
We named our girl Riley Eloise, a tribute to the women who’d helped create her – Emily and Louise.
Seeing Mum bond with Riley over the last three months has been so incredible, and she video calls us every day now we’re back in Melbourne.
Riley’s face lights up on seeing her grandma.
Now, Dean and I want to spread the word about surrogacy – there is so much people don’t know.
For example, intended parents aren’t able to advertise or publicly seek a surrogate in Victoria.
Instead, surrogates need to make the offer, which can be done in person, or through surrogacy support groups or online forums.
However, the rules vary from state to state.
I’m forever grateful to Mum and Emily for giving us this precious gift.
Riley is our miracle.
