Credit: Images by Em
- Kirsten Clawson, 47, lost her husband Cody to cancer
- She joined a widow’s support group on Facebook where Jason, a man who’d also lost his spouse to cancer, was also a member
- Connecting months later, they found love after loss
Here Kirsten shares her story in her own words.
Holding my husband’s hand as he lay in the hospital bed, I wept.
‘I’ll always love you,’ I whispered to Cody, 43.
What started as an earache nine months earlier, turned more sinister – it was acute myeloid leukemia.
After Cody tragically passed away a few days later, in December 2020, he left me with his dying wish.
‘I want you to find somebody else,’ he had told me. ‘I’m gonna get to the other side and find you a family that needs you.’
But the last thing on my mind was dating. I’d just lost the love of my life.
I’d met Cody well into my 30s. Now 42, I couldn’t imagine sharing my life with anyone else.
Just before Cody died, I’d joined a widow’s support group on Facebook to help me through the transition.
Scrolling through the feed, I kept spotting posts from a guy called Jason. His wife Valerie died from colon cancer at just 38 a year earlier, in June 2019. Jason and his sons Boston, then 15, and Cooper, nine, had been gifting ‘sunshine baskets’ since 2020, to people who’d lost a loved one or were impacted by cancer.
Jason shared photos of him and the boys delivering hampers filled with cheerful yellow items. He’d become known as the ‘Sunshine Guy’.
It’s inspiring that you’re serving others in the midst of your grief, I commented.
‘Swiping right, we matched!’
Jason sent me a friend request, which I accepted.
Nine months after losing Cody, I finally found the courage to think about dating again. On a dating app one day in September 2021, I couldn’t believe it when I spotted the ‘Sunshine Guy’ from Facebook – Jason!
Swiping right, we matched!
Texts flew back and forth, and soon we were talking on the phone all the time.
‘I miss Valerie every day,’ Jason, then 45, told me.
It was lovely to share the grief with someone who truly knew my pain. Like my Cody, Valerie had also made Jason promise he’d marry again.
‘I don’t want you to be lonely,’ she’d told him.
After three weeks, we had our first date. Arriving at the restaurant Jason had booked for dinner, I was trembling with nerves. He immediately made me feel calm, and our chemistry was undeniable.
‘‘I am falling in love with you,’ he smiled.’
I had feelings for Jason I never thought I’d feel again.
Battling guilt that I was betraying Cody, I also reminded myself it’s what he wanted for me.
On our third date, we sat in a park under fairy lights when Jason held my hand.
‘I am falling in love with you,’ he smiled.
‘I’m absolutely in love with you,’ I said, kissing him.
Then the song, ‘You Say’ by Lauren Daigle came over the outdoor speakers – it was super special to both me and Cody, and Jason and Valerie. Coincidentally we’d both listened to the song when our spouses were going through cancer.
It was a sign. We have their blessing, I thought.
A couple of weeks later, I went to Jason’s to meet his boys. Soon Boston, Cooper and I were laughing and chatting away.
Then in November 2021, we all went for a beach walk when Boston and Cooper ran up to me with a sparkling diamond ring they’d found under a rock.
‘Will you marry me?’ Jason asked, down on one knee.
It was only two months since we first spoke, but we both knew it was right. And I felt in my heart that Cody had kept his promise – he’d sent me a family from heaven.
‘Yes!’ I said.
We tied the knot two months later in January 2022, in front of our loved ones – including Cody and Valerie whose photos we set up on a special table.
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We miss you, we love you, we honour you today and always, a sign read.
Settling into married life, we suddenly hit the jackpot. Feeling a little different, in April 2022 a sneaking suspicion hit me, and I took a pregnancy test.
‘I’m pregnant!’ I told Jason, shocked.
Cody and I had suffered two heartbreaking miscarriages and I was told by doctors I’d never be able to have children. Now I was pregnant at 44.
Anxious we’d lose our bub, I was relieved to get to the second trimester. Then finding out we were having a girl, we were over the moon. Giving birth to our perfect Maisie in December, we were so happy.
Now two, Maisie is adored by her brothers Boston, now 17, and Cooper, 11.
She has healed all our hearts. And Jason and I often wonder if Valerie and Cody had something to do with our miracle bub.
I didn’t imagine I’d find love after loss, but now I have more love than I’d ever hoped for.
Jason, 48, says:
When Valerie was dying, my world came crashing down. I felt helpless, and with two boys to look out for, I was a complete mess.
After a year of Valerie being gone, my boys encouraged me to find love. ‘We need a mum,’ they said.
It was hard to get back out there, but after meeting Kirsten, I began to believe in soulmates again.
My sons and I had been giving out sunshine baskets with lovely yellow items to cheer up families going through tough times.
Since Kirsten came into the picture, she’s helped us continue this legacy. And we launched our Instagram page @lightaftergrief for people who are grieving a loved one.
‘It’s okay to move forward,’ we tell our followers.
We found love after loss. We’re so grateful to have found each other. Kirsten is my sunshine.
