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Brave mum: ‘Burlesque helped me feel sexy’

Ash and her friends find their confidence through the art of burlesque
  • Navigating life as a first time mum, Ash Barchard, from Gold Coast, Qld, struggled with her body image and self-esteem.
  • Reigniting her passion for dance, she decided to open a burlesque school.
  • Within hours of sharing her idea with a local Facebook group, Ash was inundated with messages from women wanting to join.
  • Thanks to burlesque, Ash now loves the skin she’s in!

Here Ash tells her story in her own words

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As I struck a pose on the dimly lit stage, the velvet curtain began to lift.

‘Lady Marmalade’ played over the speakers and, adorned in a red sparkly outfit, I swayed my hips to the beat.

You can do this, I reminded myself, as the crowd cheered me on.

While I was no stranger to the stage, it’d been five years since I was last up on one.

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‘I’m really struggling.’

Growing up in Whangārei, NZ, I trained in all styles of dance, including jazz, ballroom, hip hop, contemporary, rock and roll and burlesque.

Sadly, an ankle reconstruction in September 2013 saw me hang up my dancing shoes.

In April 2018, I relocated to the Gold Coast, Qld, and the following year I fell in love with Jordan, then 26, who I met on a dating site.

Image of woman dressed in red burlesque costume
Me in our 2024 burlesque show
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When we learned we were expecting our first bub in 2021, I thought my dancing days were long gone, but I was excited for our next chapter.

Our son Kai was born in March 2022, and we were over the moon.

But with Jordan working long days as a courier driver, and with our family and friends spread around the country, I was often on my own with our newborn.

‘If I can’t find a sisterhood, I’ll make one.’

As a first-time mum, navigating parenthood wasn’t always easy.

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When I wasn’t breastfeeding around the clock, I was catching up on household chores.

I struggled with my body image.

Feeling self-conscious of my new figure, I refused to let anyone take photos of me and Kai.

Image of burlesque dancers
Posing after a workshop (Credit: Supplied)
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I’d also compare myself to other mums online, who looked incredible in their activewear doing Pilates, and hanging out with their tribe of friends.

I adored being a mum, but I’d never felt more alone.

‘I’m really struggling. How do all these women bounce back after giving birth?’ I said to Jordan.

‘Be gentle with yourself. You’re beautiful,’ he always reminded me.

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‘This is really happening.’

Then one night in June 2022, I was up feeding Kai at around 3am when I had an idea.

If I can’t find a sisterhood, I’ll make one, I thought, deciding to open a burlesque dance school.

Not only was I reigniting my passion, but it’d be a great way to make friends, particularly with other women who struggled with their self-confidence.

Image of burlesque dancers
Group photo before showtime (Credit: Supplied)
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By the time Jordan was awake, I’d registered my business, Sass and Soul Dance, and hired out a community centre in town.

Sharing a post on my community Facebook page, I invited local women to come and give burlesque a try.

Incredibly, within hours I was inundated with messages from women wanting to join.

And in less than a week, my first six-week burlesque workshop was fully booked!

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‘I’m not good at dancing.’

This is really happening, I beamed proudly.

Dancing around my living room while Kai was asleep, I got to work choreographing steps for a number of songs.

Then, two months later, I was ecstatic when 28 women arrived for their first class.

Image of women on stage dancing burlesque
Our 2024 show, Redemption (Credit: Supplied)
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They were women of every shape and size, age and background, also all looking to regain their sense of self through a sisterhood.

While many had never taken a dance class in their life, they were ready to step out of their comfort zone and give it a go.

Still, some found it difficult to let go of negative thoughts.

‘I’m not good at dancing,’ some of the women said, nervously.

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‘I’m so glad I gave this a go.’

Others questioned whether they were sexy enough to pull off the risqué moves.

‘Just wait and see how you feel at the end of the workshop,’ I encouraged.

Deep down, I was having the same self doubts, but I hoped being a strong role model would help them with their own self-esteem.

Image of group of dancers
Our team after the show (Credit: Supplied)
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Just as I’d hoped, over the next few weeks I watched the women flourish, injecting their own flare into the routine.

By the end of the six weeks, they’d mastered the dances and, more importantly, they’d found their confidence too.

‘I’m so glad I gave this a go,’ one of the mums said.

‘I can’t wait to keep dancing,’ beamed another.

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‘Let’s go girls!’

I was so moved to see how I’d helped the group, who’d become like family, come out of their shell.

Feeling unstoppable, I decided to put on a production called Fierce and Fabulous in June 2023, so my new friends and I could show our loved ones what we’d been working so hard on.

We sold almost 1000 tickets for two nights, and I couldn’t wait to see our group step on a stage and show the world how far they’d come in finding their inner strength.

Image of mum, dad and son
Kai, Jordan and me (Credit: Supplied)
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As we took to the stage in our beautiful red costumes, I was ecstatic to see Jordan, along with my mum, Lee, then 58, and sister, Shannon, 29, watching in the front row.

‘Let’s go girls!’ I cheered as the audience roared.

Reclining seductively over a chair, before flicking my leg into the air, I felt truly alive.

Then, as we all shimmied across the stage to Christina Aguilera’s ‘Show Me How You Burlesque’, I knew we were right where we were meant to be.

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As the curtain closed and our show came to an end, I was filled with pride for my new-found sisterhood.

‘We did it!’ we all said, embracing in a team hug.

My family were so proud.

While I still have insecurities, as we all do, I’m so pleased with how far I’ve come.

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These days I’m more than happy to pose for a pic with my sweet Kai, now two, and while my body may never return to how it once looked, I’ve never felt sexier.

Thanks to burlesque, I love the skin I’m in!

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