Anyone familiar with the UK TV program One Born Every Minute – and not yet closely acquainted with actual childbirth – would believe that labour is merely a sentimental experience.
But Scottish mother of two, Jordan Kennedy, has taken to Facebook to give a honest (and, quite frankly, hilarious) account of delivering a baby after becoming fed up with the popular show.
“It's some buzz when the baby's out but seriously being in labour has to be one of the most ugly things ever,” she writes in a post which now has over 22,000 likes and has been shared 11,000 times.
“You start off with your wee clean pj's and matching slippers. All smiles even a bit of lip gloss ta keep you in gid spirit. Then as the contractions start getting heavy the slippers are chuked across the room. Yar hairs scraped back like dog the bounty hunter.”
Next “out pops a giant head and your arse feels like it's been set alight” she writes, before “some dodgy wee midwife that's no slept in 35 hour trys to set about your vagina with a needle and thread”.
“It's a pure magical moment for a woman,” she concludes.
Jordan is currently six months pregnant with her third child and no doubt looking forward to its arrival.
This article originally appeared on Women's Health Australia.