ThatsLife
  • WIN
  • News
  • Real Life
  • Food
  • Lifestyle
  • Pets
  • Your Stars
  • Puzzles
  • Podcasts
  • Video
ThatsLife
  • WIN
  • News
  • Real Life
  • Food
  • Lifestyle
  • Pets
  • Your Stars
  • Puzzles
  • Podcasts
  • Video
Subscribe
  1. Home
  2. Real Life

Mum Posts Hilariously Brutal Account Of Childbirth On Facebook

Honesty is the best policy when it comes to pushing a baby out - by Lauren Williamson
  • 19 Jun 2017
Mum Posts Hilariously Brutal Account Of Childbirth On Facebook
Facebook / Jordan Kennedy

Anyone familiar with the UK TV program One Born Every Minute – and not yet closely acquainted with actual childbirth – would believe that labour is merely a sentimental experience.

But Scottish mother of two, Jordan Kennedy, has taken to Facebook to give a honest (and, quite frankly, hilarious) account of delivering a baby after becoming fed up with the popular show.

“It's some buzz when the baby's out but seriously being in labour has to be one of the most ugly things ever,” she writes in a post which now has over 22,000 likes and has been shared 11,000 times. 

“You start off with your wee clean pj's and matching slippers. All smiles even a bit of lip gloss ta keep you in gid spirit. Then as the contractions start getting heavy the slippers are chuked across the room. Yar hairs scraped back like dog the bounty hunter.”

Next “out pops a giant head and your arse feels like it's been set alight” she writes, before “some dodgy wee midwife that's no slept in 35 hour trys to set about your vagina with a needle and thread”.

“It's a pure magical moment for a woman,” she concludes.

Jordan is currently six months pregnant with her third child and no doubt looking forward to its arrival.

Jordan Kennedy

This article originally appeared on Women's Health Australia. 

Subscribe to That's Life!-+ save!

Subscribe to That's Life!

Subscribe Now
Subscribe to That's Life!

Subscribe to That's Life!-+ save!

Subscribe to That's Life!

Subscribe Now
Subscribe to That's Life!

Recommended to you

There's A Better, Faster Way To Predict Sepsis
Watch 0:37

There's A Better, Faster Way To Predict Sepsis

{headline}

{headline}

I turn people into art!

I turn people into art!

Holly the heart hero

Holly the heart hero

30-year heartbreak  - who killed Kerry Turner?

30-year heartbreak - who killed Kerry Turner?

My runny nose was cancer

My runny nose was cancer

{headline}

{headline}

I was paralysed at the beach

I was paralysed at the beach

Horror at the servo - I was abducted and raped

Horror at the servo - I was abducted and raped

My husband forgot I was his wife so we wed twice

My husband forgot I was his wife so we wed twice

{headline}

{headline}

Empty nesters... so we adopted SEVEN kids!

Empty nesters... so we adopted SEVEN kids!

Back from the brink!

Back from the brink!

A cockatoo proposed to me!

A cockatoo proposed to me!

Brave Ellie - 420 days in hospital for a new heart!

Brave Ellie - 420 days in hospital for a new heart!

I woke up with no hands and feet

I woke up with no hands and feet

How chalk found me love!

How chalk found me love!

Gone for 13 minutes – then my boy came back to life!

Gone for 13 minutes – then my boy came back to life!

ThatsLife
  • Gold Club
  • Online Entry FAQ
  • About Us
  • Subscribe Today
  • Contact Us
  • Terms
  • Competitions
  • Privacy Policy
ThatsLife Magazine Subscribe
  • Gold Club
  • Online Entry FAQ
  • About Us
  • Subscribe Today
  • Contact Us
  • Terms
  • Competitions
  • Privacy Policy

Brands

  • New Idea
  • Who
  • Girlfriend
  • Practical Parenting

Our Network

  • Better Homes and Gardens
  • BHG Shop
  • marie claire
  • Beauty Crew
  • New Idea food
  • Women's Weekly Food
  • Bounty Parents
  • Home Beautiful
  • All Recipes
  • 7plus
  • 7News
  • Sunrise
  • Starts at 60
  • The West Australian
  • Perth Now
  • 7mate
  • 7Sport
  • Hard to Find
© 2022 Are Media PTY LTD
All products are independently selected, tested or recommended by our team of experts.If you buy something, we may earn an affiliate commission.
Get more from

Magazine Subscription Offer

Subscribe to That's Life!-+ save!

Shop This Offer
Subscribe to That's Life!