- Wayne Holdsworth’s son Mac was duped in a cruel sextortion scam on Instagram and tragically died by suicide
- To deal with the pain Wayne set up charity SmackTalk to help protect other young people online
- He’s also thrilled by Australia’s new strict social media laws, banning social media for kids aged under 16
Wayne shares his story in his own words
‘I’ve made a big mistake,’ my son Mac said softly one evening, tears in his eyes.
Mac, then 17, explained he’d been exchanging messages with a girl on Instagram and had sent an intimate photo of himself after receiving something similar from her.
There were no camera phones or social media when I was a young man, but in July 2022, I knew how easy it was for teens to share intimate messages.
I didn’t judge Mac for it.
‘Your mum and dad will hate you and you will want to kill yourself‘
In reality he’d been chatting with someone else who’d been hiding behind an avatar. Terrifyingly, they’d lured Mac into a sick sextortion scam and, after hacking into my boy’s social media accounts, they demanded money or else the photo would be circulated to everyone in Mac’s contacts.
Your mum and dad will hate you and you will want to kill yourself, the scammer’s messages said.
How could any human being write that? I thought.
Mac had transferred $500 to an account to put a stop to the harassment, but now the scammer wanted another $500.
‘You’ve done nothing wrong,’ I said, hugging my son.
Sadly, despite Mac giving the twisted blackmailer what he’d asked for, they sent the photo to everyone Mac knew, including me.
Mac was devastated.
‘We can fix this,’ I told him, taking him to Mornington Police Station.
‘You’re the victim here,’ I reminded him. ‘You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.’
The police found the bank details Mac transferred to belonged to a 47-year-old man from Liverpool, NSW.
He was charged with recklessly dealing with the proceeds of crime. But the embarrassment crushed Mac, knowing all his friends had seen the photo.
My boy loved playing AFL and basketball. He was also an incredibly hard worker who loved his carpentry apprenticeship. But now he worried about how he’d be able to look his teammates and colleagues in the eye.
‘You’re the victim here,’ I reminded him. ‘You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.’
A real family man, Mac was also very protective of his sister Daisy, then 14, and he adored his other siblings, Joss, 32, Spencer, 21, Ben, 20, Piper, 10, and his step-mum Maggie, 61.
When his mum – my ex-wife – Renee was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2023, Mac was so supportive.
After the scam though, the light vanished from my boy’s eyes and he became withdrawn. Although he laughed it off to friends, I knew Mac was devastated.
When his mum died in July 2023, aged just 56, it was a terrible blow to Mac.
‘I wish I’d had more time with her,’ he sighed.
That October we went to Hawaii with the family and Mac turned a corner, laughing and joking.
Back home, life returned to normal. On October 23 last year we sat down to a family dinner.
‘I can’t wait to take you out next week on your birthday,’ Mac told Daisy.
Later he asked if he could borrow my car to take to work the next day.
‘Of course,’ I said, pleased he seemed more like himself.
The next morning though, Mac didn’t get up. That’s unusual, I thought.
I opened the bedroom door to wake him, and to my horror saw Mac had died by suicide. Screaming, I felt helpless.
He’d left a note. In it, he spoke of how he missed his mum, and couldn’t get over the embarrassment.
I just can’t cope with this world any more, he’d written.
Telling the kids their brother was gone was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
Sadly, looking at Mac’s internet search history, we learned he’d been planning his death for some time.
How could I not see the signs? I tortured myself.
Mac’s funeral was packed with over 700 of his family, friends and teammates paying their respects.
Afterwards, I fell into a hole. How could I not see the signs? I tortured myself.
Maggie and my family were so supportive. But seeing a counsellor helped me greatly. I learned that before someone takes their life, they may appear happy or at peace, like Mac did.
In January this year, the man who received the money, who can’t be named for legal reasons, was sentenced to six months in jail, but after time served was out in three.
It hardly seemed fair when Mac had been given a life sentence.
Desperate for his death not to be in vain, I started a charity, Smack Talk, to educate others on how to prevent suicide
In between my job as CEO of Frankston and District Basketball Association, I travelled to schools hosting workshops on the signs to look out for and how social media plays a part in people’s mental wellbeing, particularly those aged 15-24.
As I spoke to rooms full of teens about my beautiful son, tears welled in my eyes. I’d give anything to see him here, I’d think.
The kids and teachers were moved, and I was inundated with support from all over Australia and the world.
Now, I’ve spoken to over 9000 people, some of whom said I saved their lives.
‘If Mac was still here, he’d be bursting with pride.’
Amazingly, our Unplug24 campaign in October saw over 130,000 unplug from social media for 24 hours.
I worry about kids on social media, alone for hours with their phones.
If Mac hadn’t had access, I know he’d still be with us. Social media stole my son.
That’s why I’m thrilled that Australia will ban children under 16 from using social media, after parliament approved new laws. The ban, which will not take effect for at least 12 months, could see tech companies fined up to A$50 million. It is not a silver bullet nor is it the complete solution with education so critical, but it is a great start and the whole world is watching. The advocacy and lobbying on my beautiful boy Mac’s behalf has all been worth it.
Although sadly I can’t help Mac, I can help prevent other kids from being terrorised. I know if Mac was still here, he’d be bursting with pride. ●
If you are struggling and need support, contact Lifeline for free 24/7 on 13 11 14 (Aus) or 0800 543 354 (NZ).
Keep your kids safe
- Build an open trusting relationship around technology so your child can come to you if something goes wrong or doesn’t feel right online.
- Know the apps, games and social media sites kids use. Ensure they are age-appropriate and that your child’s profiles are on the strictest privacy setting.
- Set parental controls to filter harmful content, monitor use and limit or block their time on connected devices.
- Be alert to signs of distress and know where to get help from.
