Sweltering, sweat ran down my legs.
A maths teacher by day, I’m also a professional boxer.
And to get ready for a big fight and make sure I qualified for my weight class, I’d wrapped my body in a special sauna suit to shave off some extra grams before I stepped on the scales.
Pools of perspiration had welled in my sneakers, soaking my white training socks.
They’d be very stinky!
And I wasn’t the only one who had noticed...
Over the years, countless fans had messaged me on social media, asking if they could buy my dirty socks!
Some even wanted to buy just a picture of my socks or my bare feet.
Searching foot fetish on Instagram, I learned that lots of people were crazy about feet.
But laughing it off, I ignored the requests.
Then, the coronavirus pandemic hit and all my fights were called off.
I’ve got to make extra coin somehow, I thought.
So I joked about it on Twitter.
Times are tough – I’m going to have to start replying to the foot fetish people, I wrote.
Showing my friends the messages I’d received one day, they said, ‘Just reply!’
So I did.
It’s $2000 for a pair of socks, I wrote to one fan.
That’s way too expensive! he replied.
I decided it probably was a bit much! So I offered him a bargain...
Alright, $900, I haggled.
We had a deal!
Giving him my PayPal details – an online money transfer provider that’d protect my identity – the cash appeared in my account straight away.
Wow – are you kidding me? I thought.
It was so easy!
Now I had to deliver the goods.
Sifting through my laundry basket, I plucked out a pair of my filthy training socks.
Once white, the sole was now stained a dirty brown.
I don’t want the post office to know I’m posting socks! I fretted, as I placed them in a plastic bag.
So, I found some balloon-print birthday paper and wrapped it up like a present.
Soon after, I’d sold a second pair to another fan for the same amount!
The media picked up my story, and it went global.
Before long, I was getting inundated daily with requests.
Amazingly, blokes who couldn’t afford a pair of my grimy socks forked out $100 for just a photo of them lying on the floor!
Another gave me $180 for a snap of my feet in my soiled socks.
This sock bizzo is crazy! I tweeted.
But I drew the line at selling pictures of my bare feet.
It’d be like posing in the nude!
I want to make a face mask out of your socks! one very keen fan wrote.
Do you personally have a foot fetish? asked another.
No… I replied.
You’re like a drug dealer, because they’re never addicted to their wares! he quipped.
Checking my inbox one day, I was shocked.
Hi, I’m offering $2500 for a pair of your well-worn pungent socks – preferably white, a man from Denmark had written.
I want him to get his money’s worth. I don’t want to be slack and send him socks that don’t smell! I thought.
So I replied with an idea.
I’ve got a good plan for your socks, I wrote. I’ll wear them with my smelliest shoes.
For a week, I donned the same socks for my three training sessions each day, and even shrugged on the sauna suit especially!
My mum thinks my new business venture is hilarious, and my mates all want in on the action.
‘We want to sell our socks too!’ they say.
I’m definitely not embarrassed.
Recently, my best friend texted me saying she was at her grandpa’s for Father’s Day and he said that he’d seen I was selling my socks.
Tell him if he wants some, it’s mates’ rates! I wrote back, teasing.
Some loved ones reckon I should branch out and sell even more of my dirty laundry.
‘Sell your undies! Imagine how much you’d make from your bra,’ my boyfriend’s sister exclaimed.
‘What the…? Shut up!’ my man said.
He thinks my side hustle is weird, but he has my back no matter what.
‘Money’s money,’ he reasoned.
And you can’t argue with cold hard cash.
Amazingly, in just six weeks, I’ve made nearly $6000 from my stinky socks – without even trying!
And the requests keep rolling in.
It means dirty socks are helping to pay the bills.
You certainly can’t sniff at that!
