Detective Ashley Bryant wrote heartbreaking letters for his children before committing suicide on December 16 in 2013.
“Sorry that I won't be with you for Christmas this year,” the 44-year-old wrote to his five-year-old daughter.
“You are always in my heart and will always be my 'little bear'.”
The notes were revealed as part of an inquest into his death because his wife Deborah Bryant wants to raise awareness of other policemen and their families going through PTSD, reports The Daily Telegraph.
He wrote to his then 12-year-old-son: “Hi Mate. This week has been the hardest week of my life. I miss you guys terribly. I'm getting my life back on track ... look after mum, she will need all your help and emotional strength.”
The message to his then nine-year-old son read: “Hey Buddy. Not many days to Christmas now. Sorry that I will not be with you to celebrate Christmas ... be strong and be good for mum. I love you with all of my heart. Love Dad.”
Mrs Bryant, who is currently battling stage three breast cancer, revealed in the inquest that she and Ashley separated a week before his death after 20 years of marriage due to her husband’s struggle to cope with PTSD and depression.
“He would yell at our children and at me over trivial matters until it got to the point where home became chaos,” she said.
“Our boys started to get in trouble at school for aggressive behaviour with multiple negative comments in their school diaries.”
He was discharged from the police force in December 2012 after working 24 years as a policeman. He was diagnosed with PTSD but three insurance companies all denied him a full pension because they thought he could cope with a less stressful job.
His last words before he died were to a triple-0 operator. He requested his final words be played to the coroner so no other familes would have to endure what his did.
If you or someone you know needs help, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.