The woman who identified herself only as “Burned by Grandma” explained in the letter to Ask Amy that she sent her daughter for a visit with her grandma, only to receive an itemised invoice for expenses on the visit!
“I sent a check for $300 to my mother to cover my daughter’s expenses during her visit. Upon my daughter’s return, my mother sent me an invoice for $475.50 for additional expenses, including the cost of gas to and from the airport to transport her (45 minutes away), train tickets to go to the city to a museum and the cost of the museum admission. It was an itemised bill,” the hurt mother wrote.
“This is hurtful, as this past winter my mother came to live with us for four months and we paid for everything, including a nice vacation to an island over Christmas. (Neither of my siblings has a relationship with my mother because she is petty and doesn’t respect boundaries — like a $300 budget).
“How do I address her behaviour? I am hurt and angry by her decision to charge me for gas to pick up her granddaughter from the airport, as well as the other expenses. My mother is a single woman (a retired college professor), and we have never asked her to pay for anything. We even write her a check for groceries when she hosts Thanksgiving dinner.
“Now I feel she has taken advantage of my generosity, and I don’t trust her to spend time with my daughter because it is just too costly for me (financially and emotionally).”
The advice columnist sensibly advised that the grandma in the situation may have had legitimate reasons for demanding the cash, but that it also could be a passive-aggressive way of saying that she does not want to babysit.
This article first published on Starts at 60.