Lachlan Cosgrove, 22, Maryborough, Qld
Up until this year my life was pretty mundane. I guess you could say I was plodding along. There weren't highs or lows, it was just... well, life. But in 2011, that changed. It's like my world is a snow globe and someone has shaken it for the first time - and I couldn't be happier. I've always been different to other kids my age. While they were talking about silly pranks or plans for the weekend, I was dying to discuss law and politics. It was okay. Everyone had their own interests. It's just that none of my mates shared mine! But thankfully, they accepted me for who I was.
But while I may have been excelling in the intellectual department, my social skills left much to be desired. I was terrible at making new friends. Each time I tried, my anxiety went through the roof. Was I wearing the wrong clothes? Did I say the wrong thing? By far my biggest hang up was my crooked teeth. How was I supposed to make a good impression if I couldn't smile? But things were even more disastrous when it came to the opposite sex. Like many teenage boys, I had girls on my mind but approaching them was impossible. Just the idea of it sent my analytical side into overdrive. I'd imagine the conversations and various scenarios. When most of them led to rejection, I decided not to bother. I have had my first kiss. But sadly, it can only be described as horrendous. It was 2006 and we were celebrating Schoolies Week on the Gold Coast. I was quickly discovering alcohol and nightclubs weren't for me when a girl came over. She was clearly intoxicated and when her lips touched mine, I was riddled with guilt. I had to push her away. I couldn't take advantage of a lady who wasn't thinking clearly.
 So my life continued on a female-free path. I got braces and went to Canberra to study law. In my spare time I watched question time at Parliament House but other than that, weekends were uneventful. But in March this year, I received devastating news about my health. I'd been feeling a sharp pain down my side and a burning sensation when I used the toilet. Test results showed I had bladder neck dyssynergia, meaning my bladder didn't open properly, blocking the flow of urine. But there was more shattering news - I'd have to self-catheterise four times a day for the rest of my life. My parents, Debbie and Lloyd, comforted me as I broke down in tears. I sunk into a low. There would never be a day I wouldn't have to deal with my condition. After learning to manage it, I remained closed off and was far from my usual self.
In a bid to cheer me up, my sister Katie made a suggestion - that I apply for Beauty and the Geek. At first I brushed it off. But after more consideration, it seemed like a good idea. As much as it sounds like a cliche, my diagnosis made me realise that life's too short. Up until then, I'd been too scared to talk to girls for fear of rejection. Did I want to be like that forever? The answer was no. I wanted to date and Katie's suggestion was just the push I needed. Amazingly, I was accepted on to the show. When I got there I was shocked. The girls were stunning and being my usual awkward self around them on camera took some getting used to. But when I forced myself to talk to them I realised they weren't judging me nearly as harshly as I judge myself.
So with my ego on the mend, I became more comfortable around the beauties. There was one girl, Jordan, who I became particularly close to. She was a ball of energy and had applied for the show because she genuinely wanted to learn from it. I found myself becoming increasingly attracted to her. Not just her looks but everything about her. Amazingly, she liked me too! One night in the spa, our lips met. The kiss was worlds apart from my first one and when we took things to the next level, it was a moment I'll never forget. As the competition continued I realised I might be taking a lot more from the experience than just a confidence boost and some new friends. Could I have gained a girlfriend too? These days, I've got a new lease on life and I owe it all to Beauty and the Geek. It's been a roller-coaster year and I'm a stronger man because of it. I still aspire to get involved in politics, but I am also considering moving interstate to see how things go with Jordan.
I'd never have referred to myself as a geek before but now I wear the label with pride - and a whole lot more confidence.
|
